Recently, a thread posted on a community board I frequent, inspired me to think about what exactly are “the problems” with my life. Thinking and reflecting on personal problems can be quite a tough task.
Who really wants to ponder about their negative aspects of themselves? Mostly no one.
The quote that really made me reflect on myself was this:
“How can you wonder your travels do you no good, when you carry yourself around with you? You are saddled with the very thing that drove you away.”
- Socrates, as quoted in Seneca (Letters from a Stoic)
And it really made me think about why I always continuously seek to travel and to move to new places.
Yes, I love to travel because I get to meet insightful new people, do crazy things I would have never imagined doing, and immerse myself within interesting cultures.
But am I really traveling solely for these reasons?
And is my desire to move out to Oregon to be around cool entrepreneurs, or moving to California for the surf really going to change anything?
The more I thought about it, and the more I dug deeper to the root reason. I realized that in some ways, it’s the “personal demons” that I may be escaping from. Not a surprise. We have our problems to eventually confront.
So then why do we sometimes continue to not face them?
I found this quote that summarizes the above question, fairly well:
I just didn’t want to make the changes that were necessary in order for me to be happy. I was enjoying my downfall, deriving some sick pleasure from the misery that I had grown accustomed to. It feels good to run sometimes. It feels good to be broken.
- Ryan O’Connell
In some ways, I relate to Ryan in that, at times, I would accept reality as is. That I wouldn’t be good enough to do the things I wanted to do, or feel true happiness.
I realized I would sound optimistic and hopeful for a new project idea or new endeavor I want to take, but then I never “fully” execute and carry through with the entire idea. That I get halfway or 3/4 of the way, and then stop short of the pinnacle point.
That I take on too many projects for myself to handle and over-stress myself. And then switch to finding something comfortable to fall back on, instead of pushing forward and taking the leap.
So what’s the point?
The point is, I will have to drastically change my mindset. That I will continue to learn the art of patience towards success. That it doesn’t matter where I live, if I can’t address the issue with completing my compelling entrepreneurial work, then that problem will simply follow me around and I won’t reach my eventual goal of location independence.
Here’s another classic example:
Running away happens with all types of issues, both physical and mental. One great example that many people do is move away from a certain location simply because they can’t afford it. But maybe, the underlying reason is the way those people’s spending habits aren’t aligned with living within their means.
Moving away to a cheaper location doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll make things more affordable. If the habit and mindset of how you spend your money doesn’t change, then your problem in the new location doesn’t go away as well.
The Takeaway?
Moving to a new location doesn’t necessarily mean you are moving forward with your life. Problems will always follow you around. Take the time to think about what issues or problems are bothering you, or why you aren’t excelling in certain areas of your life.
Once you have that figured out, going to that new location will only help you succeed and grow.
As Seneca says:
“A change of character, not a change of air, is what you need.”
I still have my intentions to relocate to either Oregon or California as reasons I stated before, but I will have the “right” mindset and “actual” reasons to move there, and not just because I simply have the illusion that those locations will have the solution.
Remember: You are the solution, not the location.
Have you moved somewhere in hopes that your problems went away?
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Great insights, Harrison. I’ve definitely gone through the need to keep changing the venue — even though it wasn’t the source of the problem. Only by seeing the problem resurface in each location was I able to recognize it for what it was.
Good stuff!
Michael Roberts recently posted..Creative Benefits of Changing Your Location
Very true, a perspective I didn’t see. Hence why traveling around is great anyways. Because if the new location doesn’t fix the problem, then it can only identify the source of the problem within ourselves.
Thanks for coming by Michael!
Harrison recently posted..On The Issue of Running Away from Your Problems
Interesting observations, Harrison. I think you’re right.
You got me thinking about my own feelings on moving and such. I think there’s a different issue at the bottom of mine, but it’s one I’ve been avoiding or not really thinking about. While I’m never itching to move, I never really take the time to settle into the places I live. I know I won’t be there too long because of my husband’s jobs, but that’s really not an excuse not to put down a few roots at least. I use the excuse of a temporary location to avoid building social bonds — as an introvert, it’s much more pleasant (and easier) for me to do so. But I am starting to think I’m missing out by letting this hidden fear make my decisions for me.
Erin recently posted..In Which 91 x 2 Adds Up to Much More Than We Expected
While you’re living in Pittsburgh, take advantage of the local lifestyle, anyways!
I remember moving to Minnesota and thinking it would be temporary and that I wouldn’t need to make many friends since I didn’t have an interest in staying in the state for a long time.
Interestingly, I started meeting cool, insightful people in the beginning of January, but unfortunately, that was also the month I was going to leave. Weird how fate works.
Make the most of your time in Pittsburgh, and then go from there if you have to move. Worst outcome is that when you move, you have some good friends you met in Pittsburgh that you can always reconnect with.
Harrison recently posted..On The Issue of Running Away from Your Problems
I have read recently interesting quote “Wherever you go you will always take yourself with you”. This is really true. But I know that it is extremely hard to change yourself, and it can take the whole life. Unfortunately it takes a whole life to learn living.